Life after Twelve

at 19, i've never felt old, because i belong to a clearly defined marketing demographic: that lucky and lucrative "18 to 25" category. it is around this age, that i enjoy the best of both worlds. while it's still acceptable for me to subsist on Lucky Charms, shop at American Eagle, and write on Hello Kitty stationery, i'm equally welcomed to grown up things like Starbucks, the Banana Republic, and Palm Pilots.

these adult-kid boundaries are quickly blurring, as i noticed today walking into Express (i know i swore it off, but who could resist a big red sign that says '50% off clearance?'). every customer in the store was literally half my age. yes, at 19, i really could say that now with disdain. even the sales girls looked no older than high school juniors. granted, it's kind of hard for anybody to look old wearing the candy-colors Express dished out this season -- but really, should those who haven't grown boobs be sifting through the push-up bras? sick of the pretense, gum-smacking, size (below) zeroes, and tacky highlights, i headed straight for an ageist's sanctuary: Starbucks. the situation was no better; in Westfield, Starbucks trumps the neighborhood ice cream parlor, pizza joint, and McDonalds, as a 12-year-old's place of choice. i'm fully convinced the only money that pumps Westfield commerce comes from a collective of spoiled teenie boppers. or am i just bitter...and old?

if old means having my own Visa, better taste, and some respect, then i'm glad to be older. at both ends of the merchandising spectrum, i represent the coveted secondary cliente -- not the main intended audience, but generous patrons nonetheless. we are free to purchase our own junk food, wardrobes, and Iced MochaFrappaLattes. credit card companies can legally have a field day taking advantage of our (ambivalent) material enthusiam coupled with complete financial irreponsibility. i recall sitting in some sticky classroom as a seventh grader, yearning for a day when attendance didn't matter. and now it doesn't. grown-ups make you anticipate your 18th birthday as this milestone event, because you become an "adult" by law. but that milestone is superfluous for most people (unless you were a voting fanatic, or secretly dating a 35-yr-old, or awaiting criminal prosecution). the real fun comes after 21 nowadays, when "legal adult" becomes "legal drinking age". i've been waiting to be in my twenties since i was twelve.