I can't believe that happend...
Man...crazy. Last night I was at David's, and I was quite pleased with the drastic change he made by moving from the 2 trailors fused together, to the 3 story luxury house that is his new home. He deserves it for all the shit he has been through, and everything that he has done for others.

Anyway...as grand and beatiful as the evening was, something tramatic did happen. We were watching Porn movies in his basement and we started fooling around naturally. You see...we've had sex about 4 or 5 times now, and it still hurts. When we first had sex I didn't bleed, which made me believe that I had lost that membrane in some accident or tampon use type thing. However last night proved me completely wrong. David was fingering me and he went in extremely deep and when he pulled out his fingers were more or less coated in a thin coat of my blood. This frightend me quite badly. Why? I don't really know. I just started tearing up and he looked at me with the most concern I have ever seen in someones eyes when they've looked at me. It was a bit surreal, and I hated the fact I was crying so I managed to stop myself. I then ran to the bathroom cleaned up and calmed myself down.

I just didn't know, and assumed something different had happend but that wasn't the case. I've been a little depressed since then, but I think I'll be alright. Maybe now things will be easier in the sexual means...